mamanerd

Okay, one more thing (we'll call it Thing Three on the list)-

Check out this awesome squirrelized Firefly avatar! The awesome "justonescarf" on Ravelry (www.ravelry.com) made it for me. Everytime I see it, I squee a little inside.

Okay, I swear I'm not going to post the next seventeen links in rapid sucession, but I thought I'd mention two things really quick:

1. LJ just made me verify my email... and I cleaned out my inbox, yay! It wasn't even that bad, actually. Maybe I can actually email people now, wow.

2. It is absolutely hilarious to me that there is now a link to "The Cocoon" in the last post.

Okay, that's all for now.

I am currently buried under at least five blankets, with only the appendages necessary for typing sticking out. It seems that all the running around the past two days, plus stuffing myself (turkey and more on Thanksgiving, Chinese food yesterday) has finally caught up to me all at once. I'm hiding in my cocoon until work... or at least I'd like to. Maybe I would end up turning into a giant moth if I hid long enough- then I could eat my yarn stash, though it would break my heart. (Rather not be a butterfly this time of year; I'd starve.) I feel bad, too- here I was, all dramatic "Oooh, look, she's back on her blog, oh wow", and then go hide for a month. And then post this.

(I hear running water, and Nicholas keeps wandering in and smiling at me. Oh dear.)

Anyway, it occured to me that if I posted eighteen more times, I would finally push the Crazy Time entries onto the next page, and then not have to look at them until they're less embarrassing. Then I would have the nerve to admit I have a blog to Ravelry, etc. (Actually blogging in it helps, too.) So, um, yeah.... I'll probably be around a lot lately, especially since I've been reading the archives of the Yarn Harlot's blog (www.yarnharlot.ca/blog) and feel inspired. (If you're a knitter and haven't heard of the Yarn Harlot, hit that link and prepare to be amused.) In the meantime, that's the end of this totally awesome, fascinating, inspiring blog post. I'll be in my cocoon..... or maybe in the shower.

*Creak*
*Groan*

........

There is a collective gasp from the entire Internet; is this little corner showing some signs of life?

*Wheeze*
*Groan*

Woohoo!  And-

*Thump* ZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.....................

We are awake from the coma.  Now we need a nap, and some TLC.  Never fear, we're coming back.

*Groan*

Admittedly, this may take baby steps.

Nicholas is asleep and I am bored, so I will babble here for a few moments. 

First of all, I really need to update my profile... apparently I'm still living in Wahiawa, which is not quite the case anymore.  I probably ought to do it now, but I have the lazy thing going on... ah, what am I doing, it only takes a minute.

Nicholas has started saying a lot more words- "uh-oh" is back, and for some reason he started repeating the word "double" with me today.  I have no idea where he got the word from, he just started saying it.

My latest project was going to be a lace shawl, but I had to pull it apart twice and got frustrated so I think I'll stick to knitting my sock for a day or two and then try again.  Or maybe I shouls read a good book instead- if I throw it across the room, it won't impale anyone...

For some reason, that reminds me of my mother- I spoke to her today, but forgot to ask her about her livejournal account craziness.  Hmmm...

Okay, that's all the rambling for the moment- signing out for now.  :)

Yay, I have an email account again.  One that's not flooded with a bunch of crap, and one that I can actually access.  Hence why I'm back on the Internet, even though it's been a while.  Also, I have been focusing really intently on finishing a cardigan for Nicholas, for no other reason than to prove I can knock out a baby sweater like it's nothing now.  This will encourage me in knitting Gary's tent of a sweater.  For those who are unaware, Gary is six-foot-five and 300 pounds plus, with shoulders and chest to match.  Because of this, I hope to have the sweater done by the end of the year.

... Wow, I can't wait until the Greenbriar job kicks in.  I am getting way too involved in my hobbies.  At least knitting is now socially acceptable; but what if I start to go this batty about, say, my writing?  If I walk around pretending to shoot blue lightning out of my fingertips, I think my therapist would have a word with me.

On a wildly different note- Mom, I am both amused and confused by whatever you did here.  I can't puzzle out head nor tails of it; maybe Penny can.  It almost would have been amusing if you had kept going, to see how many usernames you could have come up with... :)

(You are probably going to call me a "twit" for that!)

Okay, this is all for the moment, since Nicholas' fever is mostly gone and griping about the pollen won't do anything about it.  Much love to you all :)

I GOT THE JOB AT GREENBRIAR!!!!

I can now be considered amongst the employed.  What a relief!  After so long of staying at home, I am approaching this as a really awesome hobby.  Staying at home was making me crazy- the only good thing about it, besides having time to think I suppose, is the time I get to spend with Nicholas... but I've noticed that when I'm working, the time off is much better spent.  Bringing him to the park becomes an outing, not a chore, that way.

Okay, just a brief little post to let everyone know- I GOT A JOB HAHAHAHAHA....

I did not mention in my last post that I have become obsessed with knitting.  I've enjoyed it since I was seven, but lately I've been finding it really soothing.  I'll have to post pictures of stuff that I make, to show it off ... and World-Wide Knit in Public Day is June 14th, so anyone else who can knit, represent :p

I got a call back from Greenbriar Terrace- I have an interview tomorrow!!!  Soon, I will hopefully be amongst the employed...

Right after the post with my big discussion on mental health, it turns out that it is Mental Health Awareness Month.  Huh.

A big shout-out to Laura and Julie, who I have not yet managed to run into since returning to New England.  That's okay, Gary and I will keep trying... the urge to show off Nicholas is too strong.  :)

Okay, just a brief update for now- I shall return soon, my sweets.  "Cackles evilly"

P.S.  New Lost tonight *squee*

... Okay, calm now.  Well, it has been over two years, but I'm finally here again and it is a relief.  It feels good to have someone out there to talk to- even if no one is listening, then I can pretend they are, and that's good enough for right now. 

Well, there are several things that need to be updated when it comes to my life.  First of all, I was discharged from the Army in April of 2007 (honorably, thank you very much) for the whole mental health thing.  It seems that my brain didn't quite wrap around the idea of the military as well as I thought that it would.  Actually, I've been diagnosed with bipolar disorder; when they told me that, it was like the lightbulb clicked on in my head and a little voice went "aha!"  I've been "mood-swingy" all my life, and can get quite nasty when I'm down, but now I've got medication and therapy and am not doing too bad.  I'm pretty happy about that... besides, it has felt good to be a civillian.  I've been out of the Army over a year now, and it didn't take long to break the weird habits like trying to put on a nonexistent hat when I go outside.  It is very nice to be able to stand and speak and think when I want to.

Nicholas is huge now, and a very happy toddler.  He doesn't speak too much yet, but it is very cute when he does- he'll say "bye-bye" before going down the slide at the playground, things like that.  Right now he's watching "Sesame Street" very intently.... and that reminds me.  After I was discharged, we spent about six months in Denver with my family, but we are now back in New Hampshire.  We're living in Nashua with Gary's grandfather, an elderly Brit-turned-American who collects clocks.  He's pretty cool but we're sort of desperate to be living independently, so Gary has a job at Target and I'm looking for one now.  Hannaford's is supposed to call back today, and I'm kind of going stir-crazy waiting for the phone to ring, so all that emotion welled up and led to this.  And here I am.  It really does feel good to be back.

I feel sorta famous... :D Thanks, Penny! :)

(Longer update to follow...)

This is just a short little entry because I'm thinking about poking around for a userpic too... Gary has stated that he thinks it is high time that the little monkey was updated, and I do love my little simian baby but I also suppose that he's got a point. I do, however, think that I will take a moment and put out the question of this new format. I'm not sure if I like it more or less than the new one; I suppose it's like the new uniform I got today, I'll have to break it in and see if it's worth wearing or not. The nice thing about Livejournal, though, is that I can go back to the old format if I don't like the new, whereas it's for better or for worse with the new ACUs. We shall see... I've already decided that if I do keep this one, however, I'll need bolder colors for this page to better suit it. This is also a significant change because a) I'd like the color scheme to match any new userpic I use (though I will of course allow my baby monkey to pop up, perhaps for baby-related stuff :) and b) when I get the new computer I'd also like to get a domain name and finally set up the site I've wanted for so long, and I'd love for the scheme of my website and my blog to match. In the end, I may just go with one of the more exotic layouts, because some of them are pretty cool...

Speaking of treating oneself (new userpics, one's own domain name, et cetera).... I got new kitchen knives! Anyone who doesn't cook much will think I'm a dork for being all excited about this, but I love to cook- and these aren't just any knives, these are the ones that TV cook Rachael Ray uses, and my mother and I have both spent quite some time drooling at those things. She could probably cut her counter with them if she fancied, for Pete's sake. Any way, they weren't too badly priced either, and I was just about wincing when I clicked "Add To Cart", expecting a horrible figure, so I later saw a nice cast-iron skillet on the site and was like "what the hey" because the price for it was very good, so I got that too, so I am now generally elated all around. As long as Nicholas stays away from them. *Slightly scared, but still quite thrilled*

Okay, I have now had my little gloat over my knives (^_^) ; thank you for bearing with me, oh people who think that I'm weird. Someday I'll crave something normal, like an X-Box, I suppose- it just seems to me that the minute all the good games for one system come out, here comes a new better system, so it's like "damn". I never have time for a video game anyway, between a newborn and (in a week when I come of maternity leave) the Army, so I'll probably just wait until Nicholas is old enough to beg for his own system, get it for him if it's a good value and he's been a good boy. Then he can kick my ass playing it, and maybe it'll be good for his self-esteen or something. We'll see.

Okay, I'm off to find my new userpic, and maybe to change a smelly diaper too in a minute. Gaaaaaa!........... Signing off :)

I was updating my user info and it occured to me that quite a lot of people have "cheese" listed as an interest. It makes sense, I suppose- I like cheese, so I put it down, what the hey- but it just sounds funny that way. "I am interested in cheese." It makes me think vaguely of dirty jokes, a few of which involve the French word, "fromage" or "fromange" or however it is spelled. I took Spanish, thank you very much! Porque es la idioma mucha mas sensible- or something like that. Spanish speakers please don't laugh! Siempre yo hablaban espanol como una gringa, si... but hey, even white girl Spanish was quite helpful in San Diego, my native land (sort of- I'll get into that in a moment), so there you go.

It was funny looking at my user info- that first line, "I'm a Navy brat that rebelled and joined the Army..." I am technically a San Diego native, but now that almost all my family have moved from it, there is almost no reason to go visit it again. Kind of sad, in a way. The wanderlust has kicked into the family again. My brother's family is still there, so there's that, but they've sort of turned into desert hermits. Who knows when the next time the whole family will see each other again? It doesn't help that we're an aggressive lot, and don't seem to be getting along with half the family as well as when we're arguing with the other half. (Is it the German blood on Mom's side, the Irish/Italian/everything else on Earth blood on Dad's side, the precarious combination of all those genes, or something else entirely? Aaagh...) It couldn't help that attention deficit hyperactive disorder seems to run on both sides of the family. It runs on Gary's side, too; this might make raising Nicholas very, very interesting.

Speaking of Nicholas, he has grown a ton. He's wearing one of his "8-11 pound" outfits, and he fits in it pretty neatly. He used to swim in the size. Thankfully, his current size of diapers goes up to fourteen pounds, so there's some continuity there at least. I've been a mother for all of a month, and I already feel like he's growing up right before my eyes! (Actually, right now he's sleeping before my eyes... what a cutie :)

Speaking of mothers, is delenntoo the only dang "family" person that's ever on anymore? (Speaking of whom- "Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiii..." :) My entire family has vanished. Probably the minute I put this up, though, I'll get these cheerful little comments about "Hi, we've got the Internet now!" and have to eat my words. Oh, well- and hello to Laura and Julie, who have been praising Nicholas' supreme adorable-ness. Thanks! :) (Gary and I are hardly models, so heaven knows where he got it from!)

Now that I can fit into my regular pants again (though I do have to hold my breath to maneuver the zipper- soon, though, soon!), I've started looking toward the new Army uniform they've put out. On the one hand, I personally think the BDUs look spiffier (BDUs are the green and brown camouflage uniforms that we all know and love- half the civilians I run into on this island are wearing them too, it seems). On the other hand, the new uniform, the ACU, looks like it might be a little more flattering to the female figure (it's got a bit of a nipped-in waist, and more strategically-placed pockets), is supposed to be easier to wear with equipment (again, well-placed pockets), and is supposed to be really comfy, pajama-style. When payday comes, I suppose I can go ahead and get a pair or two- I'm in no particular rush, we're not required to have them for a few more months yet, but I'm eager to compare and contrast the old and the new. We shall see. The main issue I have with the ACU is that it looks sort of blue to me- is the Army planning to fight in periwinkle terrain anytime soon, or what? Everyone always did say the Smurfs were commies... ;-)

Gary just put up some new pictures- freakin' posters, really- of Nicholas. I could show him how to adjust the dimensions of the pictures, but he finds them amusing this way. Between sleep deprivation and "Doctor Who" coming next week, he has been a little loopy...I think it might not help that he has been fed a steady diet of lots of the same songs at his workplace, especially since a lot of them are songs that I enjoy so I can torture him at home with them too, if he is evil- all I have to do is start humming Los Lonely Boys' "Heaven", and he runs screaming from the room. Good song, hehehehehehehehe... I feel so evil :D The boy needs to be educated, anyway- just wait till Dad finds out he didn't know who Carly Simon was! *Diabolical cackle* Anyway, everyone go see the pictures on lord_fenric! The baby is all sorts of cute :)

Okay, this is turning into a book (speaking of which, writing's been on hold but may be resumed soon), and I'm getting stiff in this computer chair. Also, it sounds like somebody's built an alter of filled recycling bins and sacrificed several squirming virgins on top of them in the next room- meesa very, very scared. Okay, much love to everyone, be they present in body, mind, or spirit (or any combination thereof)... signing off :)

... However, I have been away from a computer for a while. That is okay, since a) nobody else seems to be anywhere near one at the moment and b) there is a computer for our unholy usage coming in the mail.

1. Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 18, and find line 4...."Sometimes these misunderstandings aren't really Greenspan's fault." From "Dave Barry's Money Secrets"
2. Stretch your left arm out as far as you can! Executed
3. What is the last thing you watched on TV? Monty Python
4. Without looking, guess what time it is? 2:30
5. Now look at the clock. What is the actual time? Only 2:00! I stink :p
6. With the exception of the computer, what can you hear? People typing, babies whimpering, and the library's ac system.
7. When did you last step outside: Heading from the Px to the library just now...
8. Before you started this survey, what did you look at? Friends page on Livejournal
9. What are you wearing? A white knit shirt and tan shorts
10. Did you dream last night? yes, and it was trippy
11. When did you last laugh? A moment ago, reading a rather weird forum
12. What is on the walls of the room you are in? White paint and a bunch of Army/reading/Earth Day posters
13. Seen anything weird lately? Baby poop
14. What do you think of this quiz? Bizarre
15. What is the last film you saw? Austin Powers (the first one)
16. If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy? A car, a boat, and a house with a really fantastic kitchen
17. Tell me something that I don't know: I'm now a closet "Doctor Who" fan, it seems...after years of teasing Gary about it. Dang! :)
18. If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do? Instead of war, we could have giant international paintball games to settle disputes... winner gets chocolate.
19. Do you like to dance? Yes.
20. George Bush: *shrug* Just the boss- politics make me *shudder*
21. Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her?: mmmm... I like Miranda
22. Imagine your first child is a boy, what do you call him?: Nicholas Eric, of course! :)
23. Would you ever consider living abroad? Hehehehehe, that's half the reason I joined the Army...
24. What do you want God to say to you when you reach the pearly gates? You were one of my more interesting projects...
25. 6 people who must also do this in THEIR journal: lord_fenric, keeperslave, delenntoo, branmaster5000, callmepoptart, and iamsargon...carrot6 will get probably get this through Fenric's journal and not mine, so he doesn't count as an illegal seventh person- and he can do this too, he'd probably have some amusing responses.

Okay- as the fellow who runs mycathatesyou.com would say, "that is all." Nicholas is possibly about to go tearing the library apart one brick at a time, so I leave you all for the moment with a few commands suggestions: Eat carrots, they're good for you. Go see the pictures of my baby on lord_fenric and delenntoos' journals. Watch "Doctor Who" on Sci Fi, in "Battlestar Galactica"'s old spot- Gary will be very happy if you do. Bring an umbrella in case it rains. And remember to respect your local mamas and nerds! Signing off :)

Part Two- The Event

This is where it gets interesting. You see, I've never been in the hospital for anything worse than strep throat or a broken ankle. Even then, it was for a matter of hours, and was either because the clinic was closed (the former) or because I needed X-rays (the latter). So, this whole labor and delivery thing was rather new to me. The nurses took me to this place called triage, where I got to lay on an enormous bed and have this fetal monitor strapped to me, (blue for a boy of course), and got to listen to about half an hour to an hour of Nicholas' fast little heartbeat (whompwhompwhompwhompwhomp) and had to deal with every nurse or doctor in the Pacific Rim checking to see just how dilated I really was (GRRRRR) and try and decide if they should send me walking up and down the halls or admit me straight. It didn't help that I didn't "look or act like a woman in labor." Hey, this was the hospital's idea, not mine! In the end they admitted me, and I got to put on this pink flowery thing that of course didn't have a back *blushes and giggles*, and then ended up in this really huge pink bedroom-looking room that had fish on the ceiling tiles and really, really pink walls. I was none too thrilled when they stuck an IV in me, or when I got stuck with nothing but ice chips to eat- making it very clear why OB/GYN had me sneak that salad beforehand. I threw a small fit when I heard they were sticking a catheter in me- oh, the humiliation! The feeling of constantly peeing sucked... And then, because I was only then starting to feel the slightest pressure during contractions, I waited. I watched Food Network, but then the kindly nurse warned me that I would get hungry. I got hungry. I ate ice chips like they were M&Ms. I finally stopped torturing myself and switched to "Home Improvement" reruns.

The doctor came in sometime around that point, and broke my water. (Very odd sensation, I must say!) Before he did this, however, he checked... five centimeters. Around this point, Gary came back from being rushed home by the kindly neighbors to grab our stuff, and we continued to wait. After a few hours, my contractions started to HURT! Everyone who had tried to warn me was right- the pain really is indescribable. It makes "those" cramps feel like tender loving caresses. After quite a long time huffing and puffing through old "Everybody Loves Raymond" episodes, agonized but also kind of curious to see what I could milk out of this "extremely high pain tolerance" I apparently had, I decided that was enough. Hearing I was qualified for an epidural was a very nice thing! It made my right leg numb and puffy, but was also like "aaaaahhhh." They checked me first, of course... five centimeters.

Shortly after, it had been about ten hours since they had broken my water, meaning I'd been in the hospital for twelve and in labor for who knows how long. At this point, another doctor comes in and starts saying what is known in pregnancy circles as the "C-word." Gary, who has prepared himself for this birth by watching lots of Discovery Health Channel, is not happy about the C-word. I'm not exactly gung-ho either. After lots of debate on several fronts, though, the prognosis is pretty blunt: I'm either getting one now, or I'm getting one later when Nicholas has spent too long in the womb without his protective amniotic bubble. Damn. This is me, remember? Me who has spent maybe six hours TOTAL as a hospital inpatient. And this includes time in waiting rooms. Now I'm being prepped for major surgery, the first step of which is to find the wackiest outfit known to mankind and try and squeeze it onto Gary. Nothing fits, of course- doctors just don't usually break the six-foot-three mark, apparently. I and all my happy tubes get gurneyed off to a small white room with a REALLY BIG MIRROR showing all my unmentionable parts for the world to see, plus a REALLY BIG LAMP that was about the only thing I could pinpoint as true to the operating rooms I had seen on TV. I got to wiggle onto this ominous-looking table, but apparently earned merit points from the operating team for being able to wiggle. It got quite odd after that- I was practically swaddled in these warm blanket-like things, and then they put some extremely nice stuff in my epidural and they could have started pulling out spare organs for all I cared. After much prepping and draping, Gary comes wandering in this motley assortment of hospital gowns, scrubs, and this big puffy shower cap and "I've been doing painting" face mask. Freaky. Oldies were stuck in my head at this point, and they had already begun to cut (a strange sensation, sort of an "unzipping") and the monitor with my vital signs happily beeping away (okay, another "ER"-type truth, along with the light) soon grew boring to watch, not to mention overly hypnotic. So I tried to nap, while Gary actually dared to peek over the drape and didn't faint in the process. Good for him! I will NOT regale you all with his description of what he saw. :p

Eventually, the anesthesiologist (hehehe, it'll be interesting to see if I spelled THAT right! He told me to call him Charlie, so I shall) warns me that I'm about to feel "incredible pressure". Gulp. At that point, there really is this insane rolling, pulsating feeling, EXACTLY like something alive and squirming is being pulled out of my belly- which it is. Hearing his wonderful little (angry as hell!) cry, and all the doctors happily declaring "It's a Boy!" and watching Gary work the camera furiously were all an amazing, surreal experience. Gary got to trim the cord, and then hold Nicholas after they cleaned him up and checked him out, and he could bring him over to show me and it was incredible. At that point, though, they got to go off to the mother-baby unit while the doctors sewed me up, and this was not amusing. Charlie was comforting- "Only another twenty minutes"- but I still was not happy, so I tried to nap during the last part of the surgery so it would go fast. Eventually I got a few (not all-grrrr) of the various tubes pulled, and a great happy bandage slapped on my belly, and was lifted onto a bed and taken to a recovery room where Gary was hyper and Nicholas was fast asleep. I was weak and shaking and numb, pissed because this meant that I couldn't have the baby yet, and wanted FOOD, dammit- and still very, very happy at the same time. This whole having-a-baby-thing is still quite a mystery to me!

Okay, that's probably all for today, since we've got to get home- the rest of this strange tale shall be reported on as soon as I can! Signing off :)

Well.... hello out there, everyone. As you may recall, I last updated on the thirty-first, the day before my very routine appointment at Tripler. My nice, boring thirty-nine week appointment.

You're probably all laughing now, since you can all guess why I haven't updated since. ;-) He's here!!!!! :D

I'm sitting here at the computer with little Nicholas Eric, who has a belly full of food and is sound asleep. He was born at 12:21 am on February 2nd, 2006, after a very bizarre labor and a c-section. He was nine pounds, five ounces (!) and twenty and a quarter inches- essentially, a compact little football of a baby. Adorable. He's got my ears and chin but most everything else seems to favor Gary; eyes, hair, and complexion are still up in the air because not only is he a newborn and still revealing his secrets, but Mom and Dad actually are pretty similiar in the hair and skin nowadays. The eyes are a lovely dark gray-blue right now and I would love for them to stay that way: I know that's pretty close to the newborn standard but that's also somewhat close to his Dad's color eyes, so we'll see.

I'm debating whether or not to put the more graphic details under a cut, but I know that Nicholas' various grandparents will want to read it... we shall see. I shall write it first.... having written this first part, it's neither very long nor very graphic, so it can stay out for the world to read and enjoy. When I get to the icky parts with lots of medical terms, however, expect a read-at-your-own-risk cut... ;-)

Part One- The Surprise

(This will be a multipart saga because we need to go feed Nicholas and then we have a WIC appointment- I present Part One for your reading enjoyment now. :)

Anyway- as I have previously stated, I went in for a routine appointment, thirty-nine week checkup, and the nurse asks if I've recently been checked for dilation. I say no, because they hadn't done it at the last checkup, so up she goes (I hate that!) and gets this "ahhhh" look. "At least two... three...." And then the "ahhh" look turns into an "uhhh" look. "...Four....maybe five..." And there's bloody show, too. The mere sight of that alone would have put me into labor if I weren't already in it, as was apparently the case. When did I start? How long had I been going? Why hadn't I felt a thing- I mean, there was discomfort, but I'd found the whole end-of-pregnancy thing very uncomfortable in general and hadn't noticed anything I could reasonably call a contraction. Or at least, a contraction as my unexperienced mind had come to fathom them.

I was told that I must have a very high tolerance to pain. Well, that was good news, I figured. The good folks at Tripler OB/GYN told me to go sneak a lunch in the dining facility, while they had me admitted into labor and delivery. I ate as much of a salad as I could get down in my excitement, fretted with Gary over what he hadn't packed back home yet, and then waddled over to the elevator to the sixth floor. When we got to labor and delivery, I remember walking up to the nurse's station and saying something moronic like "hi, I'm in labor." My brain had already begun to fry...

Okay, on second thought, here I am again. I have returned from the training, which was indeed boring in nature but was made entertaining by the ever-present peanut gallery. No Army briefing is complete without snide jokes, subtle innuendo, tales from the front ("Funny you should say that, because in Iraq they did this..."), and of course the ever-popular Q and A session, ranging from the complex ("But wait, if the flux capacitor has not reversed the polarity of the neutron flow within that timeframe, shouldn't we fill out an AR 362675475664754763462 point 1 dash R?") to the mundane ("What's this a class on again?") to the absurd ("Hey, wasn't there a commercial on that? No, seriously, the one with the wrestlers and the duck. Yeah, that one...")

And now the computer won't let me on my correspondence website. Grrrr.... correspondence courses are cool; I've earned forty-five hours of credit, which is nine promotion points, so instead of private first class, I can now be promoted to master private. I have spoken. If I were in the eligible slot, I could be a company first private. I'm also eligible for nomination to Private Major Academy.... hey, this joke is amusing me. I'm so bored right now... there's this fantastic community that's actually called b0red, I highly recommend it for times like this.

I was in the bathroom earlier and for a few incredulous seconds thought that my water had broken- looks like just a fluke, though. If anything happens for sure, many of you will find out just about immediately and the rest shall follow as soon as possible.

Dum dee dum dee dum dee dum... maybe I can get on the correspondence web site now. I shall go check- if I can't, then I shall most likely return here. And yes, I shall continue to use the word "shall" when necessary. :p In the meantime... signing off :)

Hello everyone. As you all can see, I am at work and updating. This means that I am not in labor. Grrr.... alas for poor Gary too, since this means that his instinct was awry after all (though I think that in all fairness, it should still count if I go into labor today). This calls, of course, for a first-class rant. I'm happy to see that many of you have updated- and I shall get to commenting, never fear. Part Two of "The Tale of Boing" shall come about as well, since I'm now rather curious to see what happens. However, this all may not manifest itself today, since the computer is needed this afternoon for a spot of company training (i.e. Death by Powerpoint Slideshow), this may not occur right away. We will have to see how long this rant spins out.

The rant, as you can imagine, mainly centers around my giant baby. The giant baby that has decided to take up residence right where Mommy's hips, pelvis, tailbone, and legs are in quite a lot of pain most of the day. However, that is about all that he has done so far, except irritably shift position now and then (usually when the cat lies on top of him). Yes, I know that it's not his fault- or is it? I believe I have read that the prostoglandins needed to stimulate labor are released due to chemical impulses from the fetus. In short, IT'S THE KID'S FAULT. Not even born yet, and the little twit's already grounded, mister! :p

(*Breaks from rant to muse* Is it even possible to ground a newborn? This is the demographic that gets overstimulated staring at peoples' heads for too long! *Returns to rant*)

Jumping up and down does not put one into labor. Walking hasn't worked yet, either. Certain other athletic activities are a little too tricky (and tiring) to attempt at the moment. Spicy food hasn't worked (though maybe it's not spicy enough...hmmmm. Maybe we should order curry tonight- but it would have to be curry-less curry for Gary, he's not a spicy-food eater. And we'd both have to stock up on the Tums, or neither of our coworkers would be very happy with us the next morning. Sorry about that. :D ) I haven't tried castor oil or raspberry leaf tea or hypnosis yet, but they are all tempting. The legendary "salad" is at a restaurant in Studio City, California- too far away to order, even if Mom and Dad didn't mind swinging by and grabbing some... but oh, I can taste it. If Nicholas comes on time, something I was hoping and praying for only a few weeks ago, then that means I have a week to go!

*Whimper* THE LONGEST WEEK OF MY LIFE.

Longer than that first week of basic training- no, longer than the riduculous week of inprocessing that preceded it. Longer again than the week before graduation, the week before my wedding (hell, those were practically the same week!), longer than the week I sprained my ankle in sixth grade and had to be on crutches in the damned snow, longer than the week before the next Harry Potter release, and longer than the week before every Christmas I've ever had. Evil, evil, evil. *Whimpering continues*

Hey, there is a silver lining to this DARK, DARK, EVIL MADNESS-INDUCING cloud. For one thing, I am worshipped. I had a bit of an impromptu baby shower this morning, and I now have bottles and a diaper genie and a baby tub. Cool! Many thanks to everyone. :) Even with that aside, everywhere I go I get exclamations of wonder, anecdotes about newborns, doors held open, seats offered, free rides. It's a little like being Midas, except a) it's actually a good golden touch, with a happy ending and b) I don't think Midas waddled like a drunk penguin everywhere he went. I want my mommy. *Sniff* Actually, I'm not sure who's supposed to call who next, me call Mom or Mom call me, because we called each other a lot last week for the birthdays (many, various) and then nobody called anyone on the weekend, so we shall see. Hmmmm.... the Rothkopfs have been calling a lot about the various birthdays, too, and they are another group of sympathetic ears- but thanks to the time-zone difference, it's hard to call them at opportune times. How did I just start going on about phone calls? Wasn't I just...ah, well, I guess the ranting bug is slowly winding down in me. For now. I have an appointment on Wednesday, and something tells me more ranting shall follow ("Well, Missus Rothkopf, it just so happens that your son is the size of Aloha Stadium, so we'll be forced to postpone your labor until after the Pro Bowl so he'll have somewhere to sleep...").

Hopefully Nicholas doesn't read all this sometime in the future and develop a complex. We love you very much, honey, we would just like to meet you OUTSIDE THE WOMB at this particular point in time. Please, please have mercy and start prostoglandin-ing, or whatever it is you do. (That is so the word of the day.) Okay, I'm growing a little pooped from all this ranting, and I think I might go crazy just for fun before lunch break is over, so for now- signing off :)

Well, it is indeed Rabbit Hole Day, and I did indeed start to celebrate it with a cheerfully weird Livejournal entry... then it grew. And grew. And grew some more... and I realized in horror that I had only begun what was looking more like a story than a simply journal entry. That, and it started to get a little long, until I was forced to cut it because I realized that various people who read this- my parents, for example- won't know what Rabbit Hole Day is and would grow rather impatient if I didn't provide a full report of things like the "BEEBEE". :) Thus, I have refashioned this as more of a serial tale of weirdness: not only will it allow people to peruse the tale of my life and "The Tale of Boing" without panicking, but it leaves room for continuation of this very strange tale. That was the problem in the first place; I started to grow interested in what would happen myself!

( The Tale of Boing, Part One )

...And yes, Sergeant Walker would love to be presented with a giant Krispy Kreme- I'm hoping Part Two involves the unnamed Narrator *cough*yourstruly*cough* being presented with some of this monstrous, sweet concoction.

In a twist of real life that is almost as weird, Gary is convinced somehow that I'm going to give birth this weekend. No joke. This sort of intuition is freaky, coming from him; this is the man who claims that he has no intuition. I don't know if this means that me giving birth that soon is merely a strongly expressed wish on his part, or if this is something that should be taken seriously because it's never happened before. We shall see... right now I feel darn well ready to give birth: over the past few days, I've grown accutely aware of Nicholas' head resting right there at the starting line, if you will. It's a very bizarre feeling, and the only way I can think of describing it involves a couple of impolite metaphors. Other than that, though, there is nothing to indicate that Nicholas is making a move yet, so the waiting game continues...

There has been a curious development over the last few days that it's probably now time to report on- it starts with my Grandpa Horn, who has spent the past twenty years or so mapping the family genealogy as far back as the 1700's. Unfortunately, he has recently passed on... earlier, I'd been offered to help with this work, and said "yes" because the genealogy interested me- but this was at the time where most projects of mine were pursued for about a week, and then abandoned in favor of the next project, the cycle continues, etc. (I don't know who suffered more with this- my teachers, who say nary an ounce of homework from me during this time; or my parents, who had to figure out what was all over my bedroom carpet this time.) Anyway, I've now been again offered to continue Grandpa's work; this time, with the same curiosity and an adult's commitment, I definitely said yes. This sounds like a fascinating project... the curious part of all this is that I'm apparently also receiving all or part of "Baby", the family computer- Dad didn't seem sure about the practicality of shipping the monitor, but then Mom thought that sounded wacky and didn't see why the whole computer couldn't be shipped. Gary likes the idea of receiving the whole computer- "Hey, we'll have a computer!"- but doesn't like the idea of Nicholas pulling Baby's heavy original monitor on top of himself and likes the idea of a nice flatscreen instead. I just think this is all curious, and will wait and see... any computer is a boon, and the added bonus is a hard drive full of Grandpa's research into the family tree. This will grow especially interesting because not only is this the Horn side of the family, but there is also Mom's research into her side of the family, and Eric's research into the Rothkopf genealogy. This could all turn out to be a very rich heritage for Nicholas, so that's pretty cool. :)

Okay, this post, between one thing and another, has stretched until lunchtime- it is definitely time to nosh. In the meantime, Happy Rabbit Hole Day, and Happy Weekend if this is the last post for today... signing off :)

...I have returned again, but only for a moment with a few thoughts, and then it is off to lunch. First of all, the training "next door" (meaning in our training room that is technically the "next door over", but still part of our area) was quite interesting, and I would have liked to have caught more of it but supply demands kept cropping up. Alas... it was taught by a Special Forces sergeant, too! Now that is a very good day of training... sorry, no elaboration here, the Army's getting tough about people rambling on in blogs and exposing training methods and other things to the enemy. So, for the record- if you are the enemy and you're reading this, bugger off. :p

Another thing I almost forgot to mention is that I nearly threw the (rather large and awkward-shaped) TV out the window after last night's episode of "Lost." Graaaaaaaaaa again! I love Charlie and Locke, and seeing them spar off about Claire and Aaron like angry roosters is going to drive me mad... then there was the teaser for next week's episode, which is also driving me crazy. First of all, if the Others said that there was a line that nobody was going to cross, why does it look like they are happily rampaging across it? Maybe there are details that I am missing, that a truly obsessed fan would have to clue me in on- and yeah, "this is our island," they probably figure the line counts for the plane-crash folks but not for them. Or something like that. Then there is the fact that it looks like Sun might end up in some kind of danger, and she's too sweet and nice! Grrr... there's always one or two of those really nice types in every bunch, and if something were to happen to them you'd go crazy. On "Lost", it's a rather large group: like I said, Sun; Claire and the baby, of course; the eternal Nice Guy, Hurley; Rose and her husband; and of course poor old Walt- yes, that's driving me nuts, too. Not that I'd want any of the other characters to get hurt, mind you- it just wouldn't sting quite as much if one of the other folks had something happen to them, because they're the ones out there having adventures, the Jacks and Kates and Sawyers and Charlies and Lockes and Jins and Michaels, et cetera. The "nice guys" are the ones hanging around minding their own business (more or less), so it just feels... meaner... to go after them. I think the point is made. Humph.

Okay, it's time to go find some lunch of some sort- probably just a sandwich or something, I'm not horribly hungry-GASP! I'm really not, though... once baby's satiated, I really will be too. Ooh, that reminds me- we also pre-registered at the hospital yesterday, and it was funny to see them make up a folder for me with my name, and a folder for Nicholas that simply said "Rothkopf," and then blank. How cute!- it'll be neat to see them fill out the first name with "Nicholas" when he's born, I guess they just weren't about to do that yet because there is still the INFINITESSIMAL chance (trust me, you should have seen the ultrasound) that Nicholas could turn out to be a Nicole- we're screwed if he is, even his baby book cheerfully declares "Thank Heaven for Little Boys" on the front! Hehehehe... again, the chances are puny. Okay, time for that lunch now... signing off again. :)

Graaaa... it's one of those days, it seems. Moderately quiet around the office, very quiet on the computer, and wet and dreary outside. And I'm hungry, but have no convenient food at the moment. Damn- I have this tendency to eat it all lately. Maybe oboedude could send me some naughty baked goods; reading her last post almost made me drool. :) I could tell it was a slow day when I actually ventured into the Army Knowledge Online forums, also known in my mind as the Forums of Doom- if you think you've read heated political discussion on the Internet, and you have not been to these forums, you ain't seen nothing yet. Nobody argues about what's best for the troops the way the troops do- but it can get very nasty sometimes, so I venture in there at my own risk. Gary has a similiar approach for the Outpost Gallifrey chatroom: enter only if you dare. The Man in the Wheezing Blue Box prompts strong emotions in many, it seems.

Well, the thirty-eight week appointment was yesterday, and I have been assured that the baby is going nowhere just yet. If he shows any indication of otherwise, I'm supposed to give them a call, really standard procedure, yadda yadda yadda. The only real interesting development is that some swab of the area they did last time came back positive for bacteria, or something like that, and apparently it comes back positive for about half of pregnant women and is nothing to worry about, but it means they all get antibiotics during labor so that the baby doesn't come out glowing green. Or something like that. Anyway, I'm not particularly thrilled about this because antibiotics are usually delivered in either a shot or an IV, and I've never minded needles but it does seem like everyone on Earth is trying to stick something in my veins lately, with varying rates of success. So my blood vessels heard about antibiotics, and started to weep. I could be safe, though- the doctor specifically asked if I was allergic to penicillin, and penicillin can be taken orally, right? I think I remember having to take penicillin as a kid, when I had strep throat or something- or maybe it was another antibiotic. And then there is the fact that this is the Army, and they've already administered one dose of penicillin to me, and it was indeed in a shot- God, what a shot!! Ask anyone in the Army about the dreaded "butt shot" they receive upon joining up, and watch them turn pale in fright... :p

One other interesting thing that came out of yesterday's appointment: I'm measuring a week ahead. I should be at 38 centimeters, and I'm at 39 instead. Hmmm... big baby. The general prognosis is, in fact, "this baby is going to be rather large." However, I didn't warrant another ultrasound or anything like that, since I'm rather large as well, and there is no indication that I will have trouble pushing Nicholas out when the time comes to do so. Dang- I was kind of hoping for the free pictures of baby as well as a report on that kid's weight now, since it has to be substantial. Oh, well, I can't complain that everything's going normally, so that's alright. My size is the talk of family, friends, and the office lately- my belly extends nearly halfway out to my knees, I have to fight to secure the bottom button of my BDUs, and I've given up wearing anything besides any shirt that will fit me and these two pairs of shorts that can still (more or less) encircle my girth. The drawstrings have been pushed to their limits, but they suffice for now.

There is interesting training going on next door, so I think I shall go see... poor Gruber is playing an EPW, and two other privates are searching her, and the instructing NCO is trying not to crack up every time that Gruber gets rolled over and makes squeaky noises! I may report later on, we shall see... in the meantime, though, signing off :)